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Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Oh, for F*ck's Sake, Buy My House Pasta

So.
As some of you are aware, J and I are moving.  With my latest promotion and his lack of employment, it doesn't make sense to live as far away from my job as we currently are.  As a result, we put our house on the market at the end of May to move closer to my job.  Originally, it was to cut the distance in half.  A crazy week in June later, I was only about 20 minutes away.  All good.
Buying and selling real estate is stressful.  You need to keep your house clean.  You're not really supposed to cook (not a huge problem, seeing as it was June and I was crazed).  You're supposed to remain unemotional and detached.  Yeah.  That doesn't always happen.
So early in July, the house was still on the market and being shown...a lot.  We had a couple come through twice and then make an offer.  It was ridiculously low.  Their parents were offering their input every step of the way.  Their agent was new and a total ditz.  And on, and on.
One week, I'd planned to make a pin from my boards on Pinterest (the lemon chicken and spaghetti in garlic gravy.  It still looks good) and bought all the ingredients.  After a trying day with the buyers wanting things they couldn't have (LIKE MY BBQ), I decided I couldn't take it anymore and didn't get off the couch in time to make the recipe.  I was also emotionally drained, and couldn't hack the thought of another restaurant.  When J asked what we were having for dinner, I told him I didn't know.  When he asked where we were going to eat, I told him at home, and to give me 30 minutes.  This is the result.
On the day that the idiot buyers take possession of my house, I present to you what I made that night, with the name that gained overwhelming support in my Facebook feed:  Oh, for F*ck's Sake, Buy My House Pasta.



Like all good things out of my head, there's no recipe, and I cook by feel.  I'll try and give approximations.
I cut 1 lb of boneless skinless chicken into bite-sized pieces and started them cooking in a non-stick pan with a little oil.  When seared, I added a couple of good spoonfuls of flour to coat the chicken and absorb the oil and juices.  I then started to add chicken broth to the roux-ed chicken to start a sauce.  I worked it up to what appeared like a good amount of sauce for the pasta and 4 servings so I'd get 2 days out of the recipe.  I know I didn't use the whole box of broth, so maybe 2-3 cups?  I tasted the thickening sauce that I'd added 2 minced garlic cloves to, and felt it lacked body...so I added about 1 Tbsp of butter to silken it out, and what was left in a bottle of pesto in the fridge.  Maybe 1/4 c.  It  smelled wonderful, but when tasted, it needed brightening, so I added the juice of 1/2 a lemon.  When the pasta went in to cook, I added a container of grape tomatoes.  I like to cook them until they heat and burst.  They didn't get quite this far, but were a nice addition.  When the pasta was cooked (we only used whole wheat pasta here), I drained it and added it to the skillet to toss and serve with parmesan.
There we go.  Pasta of desperation as a nice meal at home.  I hope they enjoy my sexy counter tops from the 1970s and orange walls as much as I did.  I hope they renovate the kitchen as we were planning to.  I'll never know, which makes me crazy in a way it didn't with the last house.  I'm emotionally invested here in a way I didn't realize until we went to sell.  Argh.  Moving on.
Get ready for a whole new ugly kitchen that needs to be renovated!  And you're going to get to see the counters and cabinets, and maybe even the wallpaper!  Here's to new culinary adventures in a new space!

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